Women's Life Stories

The Fish and the Lake

By Chugpilhamo (Aba-Lily)

Chugpilhamo is from Aba autonomous Tibetan prefecture (Nawa), Sichuan Province, China. She graduated in 2005 with an Associated degree in English from the Qinghai Normal University Nationalities Department's English Training Program. She is now working as a program director and core staff member of Shem Women's Group.

Last year, a family of herders in my village sold nearly all their yaks to support their daughter, Drol Tso's education. Despite illness, financial strain, and relatives' admonitions they continued to support Drol Tso. If this family of herders did not support her education, she would be the mother of several children by now. Instead, because of their support, she is now preparing to take the college entrance exam.  

I too understand the importance of family support. I have been like a fish, growing strong in the nourishing lake that is my family. Without them I would have floundered long ago. If my parents did not support me in my education, surely I would be the mother of two or three children by now. Since they have supported me, I have completed my Associates Degree in Tibetan and English, and helped my community by doing small-scale development projects.  

Now I want to give back to those who have given to me. In working with Shem Women's Group, I will train other young women like Drol Tso to help their communities.  

My parents provided a chance for me to attend school. I was born in a Tibetan nomadic area where very few were educated, and most people did not value education. They usually made their children help them herd livestock, milk, cut yak or sheep-hair, and collect fuel. Thus many children could not get an education. Luckily, my parents were different. They sent my two younger brothers, my younger sister, and me to school. My parents value education highly because their life has been difficult without it.  

My father attended school as a child; he was a good student, but my grandfather suggested he quit school and he obeyed. As an older man, however, he recognizes the importance of getting an education. While many of his classmates were working in government and enjoying life, he was busy taking care of livestock in the rain and snow. Also whenever he needed to speak Chinese it was difficult for him. He realized through these experiences that getting an education was very useful, so he provided his children with an opportunity. My mom and my grandma never questioned my father's actions and they were very happy to send us to school.  

I went to Me Re Ma Township Primary School in Aba county, Aba Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture, Sichuan Province. Before I attended school, my parents did everything they could to prepare me. My father rode a horse for two hours to visit the local Lama and ask about an auspicious day to start school. In addition, he bought expensive books and pencils for me. In her free time, my mom made a new school bag for me out of white cloth. With everything ready, my parents sent me to live with my grandmother because they were nomads and led a seasonal life, which demanded they move from one place to another. My grandmother led a sedentary life close to my new school. The morning of my departure, my parents asked me to listen to what my grandma said, respect my teachers, get along with the other students, and study hard. I was so excited that I forgot to tell them that I would visit when I had time. I was six years old.

When I arrived, grandma was over sixty years old, but she looked younger. She never allowed me to fetch water or do any other work. Like my parents, my grandma was also very supportive of my schooling. She never had a chance to attend school and was illiterate. She could not speak any other languages and had no idea how to read or write Tibetan, needing help to read the religious scriptures that she loved so dearly. Because she did not know Tibetan, while learning scriptures from her friends, she had a hard time because she needed to recite all of them, otherwise she would forget what her friends taught her. She always said if we could attend school even if only to learn how to read religious scriptures and help her and my mother ,who was also illiterate.

She and my parents encouraged me to succeed in school by offering me small rewards when I did well. Whenever I felt too tired to do my homework or to study for exams, I remembered all that my grandma and parents had sacrificed for me, and dared not give up

W hen I was nine years old, I went to my friend Tsomo's home to play. At that time, we seldom ate fruits and vegetables because we lived a t such a high altitude. They had to be imported from other counties, and were quite expensive, however Tsomo recieved free fruits and vegetables because her relatives were farmers . Her mother had a basin full of apples in her hands . I couldn't believe it. Even though Tsomo's family had easy access to fruit, they were usually only reserved f or special guests. The fresh, green apples caught my attention and I was very excited ; I tried my best not to look at them, but it was too late. I was already fixed on them . Then Tsomo's mother put the basin of apples in front of me and asked me to eat some. I had eaten app les before, and I thought it would be OK if I only ate one or two. But after I ate one , it taste d so good that I could not control myself. Tsomo's mother knew we seldom had fruit and she encouraged me to eat more. Tsomo also urged me to eat. And I ate the apple s, one after the other . I ate until my stomach bulged. I was quite satisfied, until later night when I began to feel sick.

I woke up t h e next morning too sick to raise my head. My grandma and our neighbor s carried me to the local hospital. Unfortunately, the doctors there could not help me; I had injections three times a day , still my condition worsened and the doctors said that I would have to go to the county hospital. My grandma sent a message to my parents asking them t o come see me as soon as possible.

After they arrived, my father went to the local monastery to ask the lamas to chant and make divinations for me because he thought that some devils might be annoying me. He reported to my anxious mother and grandmother that, according to the Lama, I would live, but would remain sick for a while. He knew that I had to go to another hospital, so he borrowed money. When my grandmother learned that we had borrowed money, She took her turquoise and copper prayer beads from a small wooden box, and asked my mother to sell it to pay for my hospital fee. These prayer beads were her most prized possession. They had been passed down to her from her own mother. My father refused to let her sell them, and said that we would find another way to cover the costs.

Although I was very sick and barely conscious while all of this happened, I clearly remember my parents' and grandmother's generosity and kindness. I saw their sad expressions and watched, but could not speak, as they gave all they had to save my life. After two weeks of treatment in the Chinese hospital, where only my father could communicate with the doctors, I began to revive. To this day, I do not know how much my treatment cost, but I know that my father went back home several times to borrow from my relatives or friends. When I was well enough to walk, I returned home. After I entered the yard, my grandma ran out to see me with tears rolling down her checks. Today I dare not imagine where I would be if my family did not support me during this difficult time.

After I recovered, my family encouraged me to continue with school even though it would be difficult because I had missed one month of classes. But no matter how hard I tried; I could not catch up other students. Even though I got up early and went to bed late, it wasn't enough. I was frustrated and asked several times if I could quit. But my parents and grandma always comforted me by saying that someday I would catch up with the other students and did not need to worry. "If you quit school" warned my mom and grandma, "then you will be like us: forever busy with housework". My father chimed in, saying that if I didn't finish school, I would be busy collecting yak dung for the fire while all of my peers lived comfortable lives. He also reminded me of his own experience with school, and urged me to do what he had not been able to. I listened to all of them, and with their encouragement, I not only finished primary school successfully, but also did well in middle school and eventually enrolled in the English Training Program (ETP) at Qinghai Normal University.

With h elp from the Bridge Fund and the Trace Foundation, I did not need to ask my family for money. They provided room, board and transportation to and from Qinghai Normal University. While an ETP student, I coordinated several successful projects: one funded by the Canada Foundation, which provided solar cookers as an alternative energy source and greatly impacted the lives of women and children in my village, and another funded by the Dutch Embassy which provided a bridge over the Rachu River, reconnecting the two severed halves of my village. After working with these organizations on various projects, I have been inspired to help others in the future.

Working with NGO's and foundations, such as Shem women's group can help me realize my dream of helping others by doing more grass root development projects and encouraging Tibetan women to independently design, implement and manage projects. My final decision to work for Shem women's group came from my wonderful experiences helping others.